"R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB"
Otis Redding wrote it and Aretha Franklin made it legendary.
A little inspiration while you're preparing for this holiday challenge. So, hit play and turn it up.
“I'm not sure how to show up when I feel like certain people will expect who I was. I can't go back to who I was, since I've become who I truly am."
To paraphrase a lovely client of mine during a coaching session right before she was to spend the holiday with family. As her words wrapped around my heart, I sank into the silence of the stark longing in her voice illuminated by her stunning self-awareness.
She's been working hard to execute a life design that genuinely represents her values, goals, and purpose. She created a mindset to leave her executive position for a start up business that is bringing her more freedom, more time with her family, more creativity and control over her finances. She was challenged with the perception of leaving a “secure”, known/relatable title that she worked very hard to achieve. From others' eyes (mainly family and long-time friends) this is high-risk and illogical for how they've known her.
Isn't “new” always ‘high-risk’ until it becomes your identity????π€π
When you create the life you really want, the change you desire - it takes changing who you are. How others see and interact with you changes. Which is neither negative or positive - it's how you think of it that makes it so. People may appear hesitant because of how they knew you before the changes, they've not rolled with your changes or are trying to catch up with how you've changed. She anticipated this very thing and we dove into how she would show up for herself during the holidays - this inspired me to share with you how we did just that.
You walk into a room and fabulously honor who you are and how you move through the world. You feel confident, poised for any conversation, you're prepared to discuss what rings true to you, you feel included regardless of anyone else's perception of who you are or who they need you to be.
YOU. OWN. THE. ROOM.
This holiday challenge is for you if change has been knocking on your door, big or small or life has happened to you. Meaning you've expanded your comfort zone, stepped into unchartered territory, tried on a new perspective (and liked it) and now you find yourself walking into a familiar room with a divergent view.
Self-check break: check yourself on any assumptions you're making about how others will respond to your change, staying true to yourself alleviates the need to make assumptions about others.
It may take time for your brain to get on board and you may not show up exactly as you are, meaning you try to show up as they need you to be (or you think they need you to be). That's when you cozy up in a corner when your natural inclination is to jump into the mix, the change you've experienced recently has left you tangled up in dissonance between where you were and where you are, unclear exactly what it is you want to own in this particular room, or the perceived power of others creates caution of being who you are in this moment, thinking it's different than “what's expected and accepted”.
This is about those times and holiday events that make you zig when you know deep inside you should zag.
“Okay, okay, This doesn't feel like it used to”; “They have so much more ____(plug in what you think they have more of)”; “They still think of me as ____ (your perception of how others in the room think of you)”; "They think I should be ____”; “What the holiday hearsay just happened????"π€·βοΈπ€·βοΈπ€·β
Things you may say to yourself leaving a room you haven't prepared to own.
This challenge is to prepare you, help you reset your thinking, create a presence aligned with owning any room, at any time. Owning a room means showing up trusting yourself, you lean into your strengths and embrace how much you have to learn, an attitude that embraces your unique style, talents, and abilities.
It is about an “I am enough” mindset.
It is giving yourself self-respect for being enough in this moment.
It is loving the change you created and the place you are right before the change you really want.
Owning a room isn't about making noise, it's about having a presence and owning that you are fully representing you - every magnificent inch of your self.
Challenge accepted?
Here's what you need for this challenge:
βοΈA writing implement (for the creatives - sometimes a pencil just won't doπ) + journal (or digital device you use to journal)
βοΈThe decision to take action to have the presence and mindset that makes you feel empowered in any room at any stage of your transformation.
Let's Go!πͺπ
